Over It

I’m totally over the break up that I was acting all torn up over a few months ago. If you read those blog posts, you know that I was still stuck on him and trying to hold on to something that just wasn’t there anymore. Or was it ever really there?

Anyway, how did I get over him? How did I move on? You have to want it. I claimed I wanted to get over our break up. But 100% of you has to really want it. And I was still hoping that somehow we would end up getting back together…whether it would take a couple years or so of being apart (bahaha, what a joke). I had to come to grips with reality. No matter how much you want to make it work with somebody, even through the bad times, if it’s not meant to be, there’s just nothing you can do about it. And how much you want it back just can’t play any part at all in it because in the end, you’re just playing yourself.

So what did I do to get over him? I threw away every little thing that reminded me of him. I stopped wondering if he was thinking of me too (because I’m sure he was not). And also I stopped blogging about him. Of course blogging and keeping a diary and venting to friends could help us get over somebody. But at the same time, I just kept having a reason to continuously bring him up over and over again. So I just quit with discussing him altogether. Even if I had a really bad dream that he was in, like I blogged about a few times, I just sent that thought to the recycle bin of my mind. I guess the break up was still a minimized window on the desktop of my mind, lol. Had to get rid of that as a whole. Once I LET GO, it was easy to not miss him and it was easier to think about him. I was literally holding on to a whole lot of nothing anyhow.

I still don’t regret anything and I still do care about him. But I took my heart back. Sad songs no longer remind me of him. I have no reason to think about him. I really just had to want it for myself. It’s unhealthy to still not be over somebody after a year since the final break-up. What a shame. I’m such a sap. I’ve got to do better! Building an unbreakable wall around my heart…Too bad for the next person, this “wall” could most definitely cause restrictions and hesitations. But I have to do whatever I have to do in order to prevent myself from ever feeling that way again.

And I know that nothing lasts forever (sadly, but that’s reality). But when I’m finally in love, I love hard core. So I need to protect myself. From myself.


About jasminestewart87


Posted on August 31, 2011, in Friendships/Love. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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